- Hamilton Bartholomew: Is this because of what I played last night?
- [Regina Lampert brandishes a gun]
- Bartholomew: Wait! Stop! No! Wait! It's a stupid cheesy song. I only learned it so that I could serenade my wife when I asked her to marry me.
- Lampert: You can't even lie convincingly.
- Bartholomew: It's not a lie.
- Lampert: You sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart" to your wife? It's kind of a crap song to propose to.
- Bartholomew: But it wasn't. That's not what I played last night. You're confused, okay? Look, I can prove it to you.
- [he plays a bit of "Total Eclipse of the Heart"]
- Bartholomew: Right? Okay, this is what I played last night.
- [he plays a bit of "Making Love Out of Nothing At All"]
- Lampert: Same song.
- Bartholomew: No it's not! Listen.
- [he plays the same bit of "Total Eclipse of the Heart"]
- Lampert: It is the same song. It's the same. What, you think I can't hear this? Come on! It is the same song!
- [she points the gun at Bartholomew]
- Bartholomew: No! No! Wait! Stop! It was written by the same guy. That's why it sounds like it's the same song.
- Lampert: Prove it. How do they go?
- Bartholomew: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. This one goes, "And I know just how to whisper...." Right? And the other one goes, "Turn around, bright eyes...." See?
I love this post a lot. also it is real weird to see someone on my dash who actually likes any season of cm after 5, you are literally the only one.
i mean i gave up a couple episodes into season six, because PRENTISS ;_; JJ ;_; but tbh mostly because UGH, SEAVER, that was some straight mary sue shit, i could not, could not. and her actress was terrible. and i ignored it for like, i guess more than two years and now i’m, well, i’m doing summer school but it’s not a huge time commitment (kinda regret not signing up for more classes tbh) and idk, idk i think probably thecurvature was mgg blogging and i was like “why not.” i’ve also really grown into my appreciation of TV Magic as opposed to “good tv” (i mean, i have always had these leanings, i’ve never made it through more than two episodes of an HBO show, and if we’re only counting time i spent actually paying attention, i don’t think i’ve ever made it all the way through one). like, i remember JJ talking down tim curry using The Power Of Mom, and at the time i was like “ugh” probably for like dumb “feminism” reasons, but now “JJ talking down TIM CURRY using solely The Power Of Mom” sounds like literally the best thing tv could give me other than reid getting laid, please god, please, if things happen for a reason then criminal minds was renewed so we could all go on with our lives secure in the knowledge that dr. spencer reid has gotten naked with a person he wanted to get naked with at least once. and season 8 is very little “subtle, nuanced, psychologically complex drama” but 100% TV Magic. MARK HAMILL IS THE FINAL UNSUB, YOU GUYS. i still feel very alone in the world because no one can possibly appreciate this like i do, are there any other batman the animated series but really especially (and here’s where it gets real narrow) batman beyond fans (b/c, return of the joker, in retrospect so much better than all the nolans, both very genuinely horrifying and also very tv magic at the same time).
anyway. i dunno. that got long and doesn’t really have that much to do with criminal minds i guess, more my evolving tastes/evolving acceptance of my own tastes (i.e. acceptance of the fact that probably, probably i will never like an HBO show YES, OK, EXCEPT MAYBE THE WIRE, I’M STILL PLANNING TO GIVE THE WIRE A SHOT, DON’T YELL AT ME, I KNOW THE FOURTH SEASON TALKS ABOUT THE BALTIMORE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM, IT’S ON MY LIST, I PROMISE) and subsequent ability to babble longer about my tastes, lol. this is parallel to similar developments in movies and music (Never Gonna Like Radiohead, All Oscar Nominees Always Look Like The Worst Movie/All Movies Should Be Either My New Favorite Movie Magic Mike Or Iron Man 3 Or Maybe Josie And The Pussycats, I Saw That A While Ago And It Was Perfect), although interestingly (to literally only me) not in books - i mean this evolution~~ probably enhanced my ability to appreciate les miserables in all its self-indulgent nineteenth century glory but tender is the night is still one of my favorite books of ever even though bscly nothing happens except some rich people get sad (*i sort of don’t believe that but i don’t not believe it enough to argue against it?).
I am super into TV Magic as a conceptual category and will have to think about it a lot more. (And push back a little. Like, how does My So-Called Life fit (or not) into this framework?)
For now though I just want to say that “TV Magic” is a perfect explanation of why, even though I am, like, morally opposed to Criminal Minds and shows of its ilk, I LOVED the one episode I saw (Season 7 Episode 12: “Unknown Subject”) because of its gratuitous use of “You’re the Inspiration” in the opening murder AND a conversation between a victim (Dina Meyer) and a man she captured, whom she believes to be the unsub (Jay Karnes), about the differences between two Jim Steinman compositions.
Your country’s refusal to embrace Robbie Williams will forever baffle me.